How and Why Clutter Builds Up
Our clutter is as individual as we are. Though there are common themes, we each have our own personal set of circumstances which can lead us to accumulate clutter.
Rather than speak about my experience of other people's clutter, today I'd like to speak from personal experience. I wrote last year about my own past process of shedding clutter, and today I'd like to share what kinds of clutter I found most difficult to overcome on my own journey.
As you read this you may find some of the things I describe also ring true for you. If you take one thing away today let it be this: You can achieve freedom from your clutter, and although it can be challenging, you’ll be amazed at what else you may learn along the way.
Today I'm going to talk about two types of clutter: “Just in Case” and “It feels wasteful”.
Just in case
I kept things I did not need at the time because I felt I might need them in future. This is a common theme I see with my clients, and speaks to the potential of items and the experiences they promise us.
“I was an awkward teenager who did not know what clothes suited me. I would often buy an item of clothing with the aspiration of wearing it, but then would lack the confidence to do so, and would resort back to wearing the same handful of items. So I ended up with a mass of garments I never wore, but kept hold of.”
For many people, “aspirational” clothing is particularly difficult to part with, whether it's a different size than currently fits us, or tied to a past era of our lives.
The main pieces of advice I would give here are:
Building a clear and truthful vision of your life, in the present and future, not the past, can be helpful in making these decisions. It can be confronting, but ultimately very freeing to let go of unrealistic expectations you may be holding yourself to.
I knew that realistically I was never going to wear my prom dress again, that I couldn’t walk in those ridiculous heels, and that top was beloved for many years, but no longer my style.As always, mindful buying in the future will help to stop further accumulation of unworn clothes. Before buying ask yourself “Does it fit me as I am now?” “When would I wear it?” “Do I feel confident and comfortable when I’m wearing it?” “What can I wear it with?” “Could I wear this on multiple occasions?” Nowadays I shop primarily for comfort, and most of my clothes are in a similar colour palette, and can be worn interchangeably to make multiple outfits.
Remember that good quality clothing can be donated to various charities for re-sale. Something which isn’t your style will suit somebody else!
It feels wasteful
It is common to feel guilt over throwing something away which we haven't used, or finished using. This can be particularly strong for items which can't be donated or re-used.
“I suffer with eczema. This might sound like a strange reason to accumulate clutter, but for me it meant a lot of experimenting with toiletries, using something for a short period of time, and then having to stop when my skin flared up. I ended up with loads of partly-used products.”
It can be very uncomfortable to sit with this guilt, and so many people, including myself, put it off and just keep hold of the item. However, the truth is that every time you see that item you will re-experience that guilty feeling, which is no fun at all.
The main pieces of advice I would give here are:
Do some research to find out if the item can be donated or recycled. It’s important to set yourself a time limit for this research or a particular avenue to look into. If at the end of your limit you have not found a solution, it must be thrown away. Commit to being kind to yourself. Keeping items in your home in place of landfill is not fair on you.
I gave some of my partly-used products to friends (after asking if they would use them) and where possible washed out others so that I could recycle the packaging.Forgive your mistakes, and buy/acquire more mindfully in the future. The trouble I had was that eczema friendly products don’t look very pretty, so I would often be tempted into buying a bubble bath with an appealing bottle in the hope that my skin could tolerate it, but I would use the product once or twice and then have to abandon it. (See my blog “How to Buy Less” for more) I now stick to a very narrow selection of products which I carefully researched to make sure they don't contain anything which will upset my skin, and firmly stick to this.
I make sure friends and family know that I don't want toiletries as gifts, and anything I do receive I will donate immediately before opening. This may sound harsh, but in reality is the kindest option.
What other types of clutter would you like to read about? Let me know in the comments!
